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Jokes Blog - thebroadroom.net: May 2005
Rats
posted by Colleen Shirazi,
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
at 10:37 AM (Pacific)
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display, he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man, " he replies, "but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.
No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into the San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.
"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.
"No," says the tourist. "I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer."
 
IBM Op Codes
posted by Colleen Shirazi,
Friday, May 13, 2005
at 12:37 PM (Pacific)
I know, everyone and their dog has a copy of this floating around somewhere. But every time I link to a page of this that I like, I come back some months or years later and the page is gone. So I'd like to keep my own copy. If I find some more op codes somewhere else, I'll integrate them here.
The original list is from ahajokes.com.
AAC Alter All Commands
AAD Alter All Data
AAO Add And Overflow
AAR Alter At Random
AB Add Backwards
ABC AlphaBetize Code
ABR Add Beyond Range
ACC Advance CPU Clock
ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents
ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully
ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time
ADB Another Dumb Bug
AEE Absolve Engineering Errors
AFF Add Fudge Factor
AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
AFP Abnormalize Floating Point
AFR Abort Funny Routine
AFVC Add Finagle's Variable Constant
AGB Add GarBage
AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer
AI Add Improper
AIB Attack Innocent Bystander
AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders
AISG Access and Improve Student Grade
AMM Add Mayo and Mustard
AMM Answer My Mail
AMS Add Memory to System
ANC ANnoy Consultant
AOI Annoy Operator Immediate
AR Advance Rudely
AR Alter Reality
ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero
ARN Add and Reset to Nonzero
ARZ Add and Reset to Zero
AS Add Sideways
ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI
AT Accumulate Trivia
AWP Argue With Programmer
AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys
BA Branch Anywhere
BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri
BAD Branch And Die
BAD Branch to Auto Destruct
BAF Blow All Fuses
BAH Branch And Hang
BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger
BAP Branch And Punt
BAW Bells And Whistles
BB Branch on Bug
BBBB Byte Baudy Bit and Branch
BBBF Branch on Bit Bucket Full
BBD Branch on Bastille Day
BBI Branch on Burned-out Indicator
BBIL Branch on Burned-out Indicator Light
BBLB Branch on Blinking Light Bulb
BBT Branch on Binary Tree
BBW Branch Both Ways
BCB Burp and Clear Bytes
BCF Branch on Chip box Full
BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop
BCR Backspace Card Reader
BCS Branch and Crash System
BCU Be Cruel and Unusual
BD Backspace Disk
BD Branch to Data
BDC Break Down and Cry
BDI Branch to Data Indirect
BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory
BDT Burn Data Tree
BDU Branch on Dense User
BE Branch Everywhere
BEW Branch Either Way
BF Belch Fire
BF Blow Fuse
BF Branch Forever
BFD Branch on Full Disk
BFF Branch and Form Feed
BFM Be Fruitful and Multiply
BH Branch and Hang
BIR Branch Inside Ranch
BIRM Branch on Index Register Missing
BLC Branch and Loop Continuous
BLI Branch and Loop Infinite
BLM Branch, Like, Maybe
BLMWM Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man
BLP Boot from Line Printer
BLR Branch and Lose Return
BLSH Buy Low, Sell High
BLT Break Little Thing
BM Branch Maybe
BMI Blow up Memory Immediate
BMI Branch on Missing Index
BMI Branch to Muncee Immediate
BMP Branch and Make Popcorn
BMR Branch Multiple Registers
BMUS Beam Me Up, Scotty
BNA Branch to Nonexistent Address
BNCB Branch and Never Come Back
BNL Become a Neo-Luddite
BNR Branch for No Reason
BOB Branch On Bug
BOD Beat On Disk
BOD Branch on Operator Desperate
BOH Branch On Humidity
BOH Branch on Operator High
BOHP Bribe Operator for Higher Priority
BOI Byte Operator Immediately
BOP Boot OPerator
BOT Branch On Tree
BPB Branch on Program Bug
BPDI Be Polite, Don't Interrupt
BPIM Bury Programmer In Manuals
BPL Branch PLease
BPM Become a Psych Major
BPO Branch on Power Off
BPO Branch on Power On
BPP Branch and Pull the Plug
BR Byte and Run
BRA Branch to Random Address
BRB BRanch on Beaver
BRH BRanch and Hang
BRI BRanch Indefinitely
BRL BRanch and Leak
BRO BRanch and Overheat
BRO BRanch to Oblivion
BS Behave Strangely
BSC Branch on Second Coming
BSC Burst Selector Channel
BSD BackSpace Disk
BSI Back up Sewer Immediate
BSI Backup Sewer Immediately
BSM Branch and Scramble Memory
BSO Branch on Sleepy Operator
BSP BackSpace Punch
BSR Branch and Stomp Registers
BSS Branch on SunSpot
BSST BackSpace and Stretch Tape
BTD Branch on Time of Day
BTD Byte The Dust
BTI Blow Trumpet Immediately
BTJ Branch and Turn Japanese
BTO Branch To Oblivion
BTW Branch on Third Wednesday
BU Branch Unexpectedly
BUTI Blow Up Terminal Immediately
BVS Branch and Veer South
BW Branch on Whim
BWC Branch When Convenient
BWF Busy, Wait Forever
BWOP BeWilder OPerator
BYDS Beware Your Dark Side
BYTE BYte TEst
CAC Calling All Cars
CAC Cash And Carry
CAF Convert ASCII to Farsii
CAI Corrupt Accounting Information
CAIL Crash After I Leave
CAR Cancel Accounts Receivable
CAT Confused And Tired
CB Consult Bozo
CBA Compare and Branch Anyway
CBBR Crash and Blow Boot Read-only memory
CBNC Close, But No Cigar
CBS Clobber BootStrap
CC Call Cavalry
CC Compliment Core
CCB Chocolate Chip Byte-mode
CCB Consult Crystal Ball
CCC Crash if Carry Clear
CCCP Conditionally Corrupt Current Process
CCD Choke Cough and Die
CCD Clear Core and Dump
CCR Change Channels at Random
CCS Chinese Character Set
CCWR Change Color of Write Ring
CD Complement Disk
CDC Clear Disk and Crash
CDC Close Disk Cover
CDIOOAZ Calm Down, It's Only Ones And Zeroes
CDS Change Disk Speed
CEMU Close Eyes and Monkey with User space
CEX Call EXterminator
CF Come From [replaces goto]
CFE Call Field Engineer
CFP Change and Forget Password
CFS Corrupt File Structure
CG Convert to Garbage
CH Create Havoc
CHCJ Compare Haig to Christine Jorgensen
CHPAMR CHase Pointers Around Machine Room
CHSE Compare Half-words and Swap if Equal
CIB Change Important Byte
CIC Cash In Chips
CID Compare and Ignore Data
CIMM Create Imaginary Memory Map
CIZ Clear If Zero
CLBR CLoBber Register
CLBRI CLoBber Register Immediate
CM Circulate Memory
CMD CPU Melt Down
CMD Compare Meaningless Data
CMI Clobber Monitor Immediate
CML Compute Meaning of Life
CMP Create Memory Prosthesis
CMS Click MicroSwitch
CN Compare Nonsensically
CNB Cause Nervous Breakdown
CNS Call Nonexistent Subroutine
COCS Copy Object Code to Source
COD Crash On Demand
COLB Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
COM Clear Operator's Mind
COMF COMe From
CON Call Operator Now
COS Copy Object code to Source file
COWYHU Come Out With Your Hands Up
CP Compliment Programmer
CP%FKM CPU \(em FlaKeout Mode
CP%WM CPU \(em Weird Mode
CPB Create Program Bug
CPN Call Programmer Names
CPPR Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRASH Continue Running After Stop or Halt
CRB CRash and Burn
CRD Confirm Rumor by Denial
CRM CReate Memory
CRM Clear Random Memory
CRN Compare with Random Number
CRN Convert to Roman Numerals
CRYPT reCuRsive encrYPt Tape
CS Crash System
CSL Curse and Swear Loudly
CSN Call Supervisor Names
CSNIO Crash System on Next I/O
CSS Crash Subsidiary Systems
CSU Call Self Unconditional
CTDMR Change Tape Density, Mid Record
CTT Call Time and Temperature
CU Convert to Unary
CUC Cheat Until Caught
CVFL ConVert Floating to Logical
CVFP ConVert Fortran to Pascal
CVG ConVert to Garbage
CVU ConVert to Unary
CWAH Create Woman And Hold
CWB Carry With Borrow
CWDC Cut Wires and Drop Core
CWG Chase Wild Goose
CWGK Compare Watt to Genghis Khan
CWIT Compare Watt to Ivan the Terrible
CWM Compare Watt to Mussolini
CWOM Complement Write-Only Memory
CZZC Convert Zone to Zip Code
DA Develop Amnesia
DAB Delete All Bugs
DAC Divide And Conquer
DAD Destroy A-Disk
DAO Divide And Overflow
DAP De-select Active Peripheral
DAUF Delete All Useless Files
DB Drop Bits
DBL Desegregate Bus Lines
DBR DeBase Register
DBTP Drop Back Ten and Punt
DBZ Divide By Zero
DC Degauss Core
DC Divide and Conquer
DCAD Dump Core And Die
DCD Drop Cards Double
DCGC Dump Confusing Garbage to Console
DCI Disk Crash Immediate
DCON Disable CONsle
DCR Double-precision CRash
DCT Drop Cards Triple
DD Destroy Disk
DD Drop Disk
DDC Dally During Calculations
DDOA Drop Dead On Answer
DDS Delaminate Disk Surface
DDT Debug Program
DDWB Deposit Directly in Waste Basket
DEB Disk Eject Both
DEC Decompile Executable Code
DEI Disk Eject Immediate
DEM Disk Eject Memory
DFA Disable FAns
DGO Decrement the Grades of Others
DGT Dispense Gin and Tonic
DHTPL Disk Head Three Point Landing
DIA Develop Ineffective Address
DICE Delete Invalid Customer Engineer
DIE DIsable Everything
DIF DIsable Fuses
DIG DIsable Gravity
DIH Disable Interrupts and Hang
DIRFO Do It Right For Once
DISC DISmount CPU
DK Destroy Klingons
DKP Disavow Knowledge of Programmer
DLN Don't Look Now
DLP Drain Literal Pool
DMAG Do MAGic
DMNS Do what i Mean, Not what i Say
DMP Destroy Memory Protect key
DMPE Decide to Major in Phys. Ed.
DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key
DMZ Divide Memory by Zero
DND Destroy Neighbor's Data
DNPG Do Not Pass Go
DO Divide and Overflow
DO Divide and Overflow [IBM PC]
DOC Drive Operator Crazy
DOV Divide and OVerflow
DP Destroy Peripherals
DPC Decrement Program Counter
DPCS Decrement Program Counter Secretly
DPK Destroy storage Protect Key
DPMI Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
DPN Double Precision No-op
DPR Destroy PRogram
DPS Disable Power Supply
DR Detach Root
DRAF DRAw Flowchart
DRAM Decrement RAM
DRBA Deposit Round-off in my Bank Account
DRD DRop Dead
DRI Disable Random Interrupt
DROM Destroy ROM
DRT Disconnect Random Terminal
DS Deadlock System
DSD Dismount System Disk
DSI Do Something Interesting
DSO Disable System Operator
DSP Degrade System Performance
DSR Detonate Status Register
DSTD Do Something Totally Different
DSUIT Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible
DT%FFP DecTape \(em unload and Flappa FlaP
DT%SHO DecTape \(em Spin Hubs Opposite
DTB Destructively Test Bit
DTC Destroy This Command
DTE Decrement Telephone Extension
DTI Do The Impossible
DTRT Do The Right Thing
DTVFL Destroy Third Variable From Left
DU Dump User
DUD Do Until Dead
DW Destroy World
DWIM Do What I Mean
DWIT Do What I'm Thinking
DWIW Do What I Want
EA Enable Anything
EAC Emulate Acoustic Coupler
EAL Enable AC to Logic rack
EAO Enable AC to Operator
EBB Edit and Blank Buffer
EBB Empty Bit Bucket
EBR Erase Before Reading
EBRS Emit Burnt Resistor Smell
EC Eat Card
ECF Explode and Catch Fire
ECL Early Care Lace
ECO Electrocute Computer Operator
ECP Erase Card Punch
ED Eject Disk
ED Execute Data
EDD Eat Disk and Die
EDIT Erase Data and Increment Time
EDP Emulate Debugged Program
EDR Emit Deadly Radiation
EDR Execute Destructive Read
EDS Execute Data Segment
EEOIFNO Execute Every Other Instruction From Now On
EEP Erase Entire Program
EFB Emulate Five-volt Battery
EFD Eject Floppy Disk
EFD Emulate Frisbee using Disk pack
EFE Emulate Fatal Error
EHC Emulate Headless Chicken
EIA Elvis Is Alive
EIAO Execute In Any Order
EIO Erase I/O page
EIO Execute Invalid Op-code
EIO Execute Invalid Opcode
EIOC Execute Invalid Op-Code
EJD EJect Disk
EJD%V EJect Disk \(em with initial velocity V
ELP Enter Loop Permenantly
EM EMulate 407
EM Evacuate Memory
EMIF Erase Most Important File
EMM Emulate More Memory
EMPC EMulate Pocket Calculator
EMSE Edit and Mark Something Else
EMSL Entire Memory Shift Left
EMT Electrocute Maintenance Technician
EMW Emulate Maytag Washer
ENA ENable Anything
ENE ENable Everything
END Erase Neighbor's Data
ENF Emit Noxious Fumes
ENG ENable Gravity
ENO Emulate No-Op
EO Electrocute Operator
EOB Execute Operator and Branch
EOI Explode On Interrupt
EOS Erase Operating System
EP Execute Programmer
EPD Explode Peripheral Device
EPI Execute Programmer Immediate
EPITS Execute Previous Instruction Then Skip
EPL Emulate Phone Line
EPP Eject Printer Paper
EPS Electrostatic Print and Smear
EPS Execute Program Sideways
EPSW Execute Program Status Word
EPT Erase Process Table
EPT Erase Punched Tape
ERIC Eject Random Integrated Circuit
ERM Erase Reserved Memory
EROM Erase Read-Only Memory
EROS Erase Read-Only Storage
EROS Erase Read-Only Storage [Everex int]
ERS Erase Read-only Storage
ESB Eject Selectric Ball
ESC Emulate System Crash
ESD Eject Spinning Dish
ESL Exceed Speed of Light
ESP Enable SPrinkler system
ETI Execute This Instruction
ETM Emulate Trinary Machine
ETPH E. T. Phone Home
EVC Execute Verbal Commands
EWD Enter Warp Drive
EWM Enter Whimsy Mode
EXB EXcrement and Branch
EXE EXecute Engineer
EXI EXecute Invalid operation
EXO EXecute Operator
EXOP EXecute OPerator
EXP EXecute Programmer
EXPP EXecute Political Prisoner
FAY Fetch Amulet of Yendor
FB Find Bugs
FC Fry Console
FCJ Feed Card and Jam
FCJ Feed Cards and Jam
FD Forget Data
FDR Feed Disk Randomly
FERA Forms Eject and Run Away
FFF Form Feed Forever
FLD FLing Disk
FLI Flash Lights Impressively
FM Forget Memory
FMP Finish My Program
FOPC False Out-of-Paper Condition
FPC Feed Paper Continuously
FPT Fire Photon Torpedoes
FRG Fill with Random Garbage
FRS Fetch Ring of Sauron
FS Feign Sleep
FSM Fold, Spindle, and Mutilate
FSR Form Skip and Runaway
FSRA Forms Skip and Run Away
FYBR Follow Yellow Brick Road
GAP Grade All Projects
GBB Go to Back of Bus
GCAR Get Correct Answer Regardless
GCR Generate Confusing Results
GDP Grin Defiantly at Programmer
GDR Grab Degree and Run
GENT GENerate Thesis
GEW{JO} Go to the End of the World {Jump Off}
GFD Go Forth and Divide
GFM Go Forth and Multiply
GIE Generate Irreversible Error
GL Get Lost
GLC Generate Lewd Comment
GMC Generate Machine Check
GMCC Generate Machine Check and Cash
GND Guess at Next Digit
GORS GO Real Slow
GPCR Generate Petty Cache Request
GR Get Real
GREM Generate Random Error Message
GREP Global Ruin, Expiration, and Purgation
GRMC Generate Rubber Machine Check
GS Get Strange
GSB Gulp and Store Bytes
GSI Generate Spurious Interrupts
GSU Geometric Shift Up
GTJ Go To Jail
HAC Hold All Calls
HACF Halt And Catch Fire
HAH Halt And Hang
HBW Hang Bus and Wait
HCF Halt and Catch Fire
HCP Hide Central Processor
HCRS Hang in CRitical Section
HDH Hi Dee Ho
HDO Halt and Disable Operator
HDRW Halt and Display Random Word
HELP Hinder Everyone with Little Productivity
HELP Type 'No Help Available'
HEO Halt and Execute Operator
HF Hide File
HGD Halt, Get Drunk
HHB Halt and Hang Bus
HIS Halt in Impossible State
HOO Hide Operator's Output
HRPR Hang up and Ruin Printer Ribbon
HSC Halt on System Crash
HSJ Halt, Skip and Jump
HTC Halt and Toss Cookies
HTS Halt and Throw Sparks
HUAL Halt Until After Lunch
HUP Hang Up Phone
HWP Halt Without Provocation
IA Illogical And
IAE Ignore All Exceptions
IAI Inquire And Ignore
IAND Illogical AND
IAR Ignore All Requests
IB Insert Bug
IBM Increment and Branch to Muncee
IBP Insert Bug and Proceed
IBR Insert Bugs at Random
ICB Interrupt, Crash and Burn
ICM Immerse Central Memory
ICMD Initiate Core Melt Down
ICR Incur Costly Repair [Sun Tempest]
ICSP Invert Crt Screen Picture
IDC Initiate Destruct Command
IDI Invoke Divine Intervention
IDNOP InDirect No-OP
IDPS Ignore Disk Protect Switch
IEOF Ignore End Of File
IF Invoke Force
IGI Increment Grade Immediate
IGIT Increment Grade Immediate Twice
IGO Increment Grade Overnight
IHC Initiate Head Crash
IHTFP Increment Hormones, Test For Puberty
II Inquire and Ignore
IIB Ignore Inquiry and Branch
IIC Insert Invisible Characters
IIL Irreversible Infinite Loop
IM Imagine Memory
IMBP Insert Mistake and Blame Programmer
IMP Imitate Monty Python
IMPG IMPress Girlfriend
IMV IMpress Visitors
INCAM INCrement Arbitrary Memory
ING INquire and iGnore
INI Ignore Next Instruction
INOP Indirect No-OP
INR INstigate Rumor
INW INvalidate Warranty
IOI Ignore Operator's Instruction
IOR Illogical OR
IOS Ignore Operating System
IP Increment and Pray
IPI Ignore Previous Instruction
IPM Ignore Programmer's Mistakes
IPOP Interrupt Processor, Order Pizza
IPS Incinerate Power Supply
IPS Increment Power Supply
IPT Ignite Paper Tape
IRB Invert Record and Branch
IRBI Insert Random Bits Indexed
IRC Insert Random Commands
IRE Insert Random Errors
IRI Ignore Rude Interrupts
IRPF Infinite Recursive Page Fault
ISC Ignore Supervisor Calls
ISC Ignore System Crash
ISC Insert Sarcastic Comments
ISI Increment and Skip on Infinity
ISP Increment and Skip on Pi
ISTK Invert STacK
ITML Initiate Termites into Macro Library
IU Ignore User[s]
IXOR Illogical eXclusive OR
IZ Ignore Zeroes
JAA Jump Almost Always
JBS Jump and Blow Stack
JCI Jump to Current Instruction
JFM Jump on Full Moon
JHRB Jump to H&R Block
JLP Jump and Lose Pointer
JLR Jump and Lose Return
JMAT JuMp on Alternate Thursdays
JN Jump to Nowhere
JNL Jump when programmer is Not Looking
JOB Jump On Beaver
JOM Jump Out of Memory
JOM Jump Over Moon
JOP Jump OPerator
JPA Jump when Pizza Arrives
JRAN Jump RANdom
JRCF Jump Relative and Catch Fire
JRGA Jump Relative and Get Arrested
JRL Jump to Random Location
JRSR Jump to Random SubRoutine
JSC Jump on System Crash
JSOR Jump Somewhere Over Rainbow
JSU Jump Self Unconditional
JT Jump if Tuesday
JTT Jump and Tangle Tape
JTZ Jump to Twilight Zone
JWN Jump When Necessary
KCE Kill Consultant on Error
KCE Kill repairman [CE]
KDO Knock Disk Over
KEPITU Kill Every Process In The Universe
KOP Kill OPerator
KP Krunch Paper
KPR Kill PRogrammer
KSR Keyboard Shift Right
KUD Kill User's Data
KWWE Kill Wicked Witch of East
KWWW Kill Wicked Witch of West
LAC Lose All Communication
LAGW Load And Go Wrong
LAP Laugh At Program
LAP Laugh At Programmer
LCC Load and Clear Core
LCD Launch Cartridge Disk
LCK Lock Console Keyswitch
LEB Link Edit Backwards
LIA Load Ineffective Address
LMB Lose Message and Branch
LMO Load and Mug Operator
LMYB Logical MaYBe
LN Lose inode Number
LNP Load N digits of Pi
LOSM Log Off System Manager
LP%PAS Line Printer \(em Print And Smear
LP%RDD Line Printer \(em Reverse Drum Direction
LP%TCR Line Printer \(em Tangle and Chew Ribbon
LPA Lead Programmer Astray
LPRTC Load Program counter from Real Time Clock
LR Load Revolver
LRA Load RetroActively
LRB Lose Record and Branch
LRD Load Random Data
LSPSW Load and Scramble PSW
LTS Link To Sputnik
LTS Loop Till Smokes
LUM LUbricate Memory
LWE Load WhatEver
LWM Load Write-only Memory
MAB Melt Address Bus
MAN Make Animal Noises
MAZ Multiply Answer by Zero
MBC Make Batch Confetti
MBF Multiply and Be Fruitful
MBH Memory Bank Hold-up
MBTD Mount Beatles on Tape Drive
MBTOL Move Bug To Operator's Lunch
MC Move Continuous
MD Move Devious
MDB Move and Drop Bits
MDC Make Disk Crash
MDDHAF Make Disk Drive Hop Across Floor
MFO Mount Female Operator
MILI Move It or Lose It
MLB Memory Left shift and Branch
MLD Move and Lose Data
MLP Make Lousy Program
MLP Multiply and Lose Precision
MLR Move and Lose Record
MMF Melt Main Frame
MMLG Make Me Look Good
MNI Misread Next Instruction
MOG Make Operator Growl
MOP Modify Operator's Personality
MPLP Make Pretty Light Pattern
MRZ Make Random Zap
MSGD Make Screen Go Dim
MSP Mistake Sign for Parity
MSPI Make Sure Plugged In
MSR Melt Special Register
MST Mount Scotch Tape
MTE Mangle Tape on Exit
MTI Make Tape Invalid
MUG Make Ugly Graphics
MUM Multi-Use Mnemonics
MW Malfunction Whenever
MW Multiply Work
MWC Move and Wrap Core
MWT Malfunction Without Telling
NBC Negate By Clearing
NCW Notch Carriage and Way
NMI Negate Most Integers
NOP Needlessly Omit Pointer
NPC Normalize Program Counter
NPN No Program Necessary [VAX]
NTGH Not Tonight, i've Got a Headache
OBB Overflow Bit Bucket
OCF Open Circular File
OMC Obscene Message to Console
OMC Overheat Memory Chip
OML Obey Murphy's Laws
OPI Order Pizza Immediately
OPP Order Pizza for Programmer
OSI Overflow Stack Immediate
OSI Overflow Stack Indefinite
OSP Open Six-Pack
OTL Out To Lunch
OU Offend User
P$*! Punch Obscenity
PA Punch in ASCII
PAL Pack And Leave
PAS Print And Smear
PAUD PAUse Dramatically
PAZ Pack Alpha Zone
PAZ Pack Alpha and drop Zones
PBC Print and Break Chain
PBD Print and Break Drum
PBL Pack Bags and Leave
PBM Pop Bubble Memory
PBPBPBP Place Backup in Plain Brown Paper Bag Please
PBST Play Batch mode Star Trek
PCB Pause for Coffee Break
PCD PunCh Disk
PCI Pleat Cards Immediate
PCR Print and Cut Ribbon
PCS Push to Centre of Stack
PD Play Dead
PD Punch Disk
PDLD Power Down and Lock Door [to computer room]
PDSK Punch DiSK
PEHC Punch Extra Holes in Cards
PEP Print on Edge of Paper
PFD Punt on Fourth Down
PFE Print Floating Eye
PFML Print Four Million Lines
PG Print Garbage
PHO Pull Hair Out
PI Punch Invalid
PIBM Pretend to be an IBM
PIC Print Illegible Characters
PIC Print Invalid Character
PIC Punch Invalid Character
PLSC Perform Light Show on Console
PNIH Place Needle In Haystack
PNRP Print Nasty Replies to Programmer
PO Punch Operator
POCL Punch Out Console Lights
POG Print Only Greek
POP Pop Or Push
POPI Punch OPerator Immediate
POPN Punch OPerator's Nose
PPA Print Paper Airplanes
PPC Purge Pascal Compiler [HP 3000]
PPL Perform Perpetual Loop
PPP Print Programmer's Picture
PPR Play Punk Rock
PPSW Pack Program Status Word
PPSW Pack Progran Status Word
PRS PRint and Smear
PSP Print and Shred Paper
PSR Print and Shred Ribbon
PTP Produce Toilet Paper
PUO Perform Unknown Operation
PVLC Punch Variable Length Card
PWP Print Without Paper
PWS create PoWer Surge
PYS Program YourSelf
QBDH Quit and Become a DeadHead
QWYA Quit While Your Ahead
RA Randomize Answer
RAM Randomly Access Memory
RAM Read Ambiguous Memory
RAN RANdom opcode [similar to 16-bit what gate]
RASC Read And Shred Card
RAST Read And Shred Tape
RAU Ridicule All Users
RBAO Ring Bell and Annoy Operator
RBLY Restore Back-up from Last Year
RBT Read Blank Tape
RBT Rewind and Break Tape
RC Rewind Core
RCAJ Read Card And Jam
RCB Read Command Backwards
RCB Run Clock Backwards
RCC Read Card and Chew
RCCP Randomly Corrupt Current Process
RCF Rewind Cabinet Fans
RCKG Read Count Key and Garbage
RCL Rotate Carry Left
RCP Reschedule Car Payments
RCR Rewind Card Reader
RCRV Randomly Convert to Reverse Video
RCS Read Card and Scramble data
RCSD Read Card and Scramble Data
RD Randomize Data
RD Reverse Directions
RDA Refuse to Disclose Answer
RDB Replace Database with Blanks
RDB Run Disk Backwards
RDD Reverse Disk Drive
RDDBF Rock Disk Drive Back and Forth
RDEB Read and Drop Even number of Bits
RDF Randomize Directory Filenames
RDI Reverse Drum Immediate
RDI Reverse Drun Immediate
RDI Rewind Disk Immediate
RDR Reverse Disk Rotation
RDS ReaD Sideways
RENVR REName Variables Randomly
RET Read and Erase Tape
RF Read Fingerprints
RG Record Garbage
RHNEZ Randomize and Halt if Not Equal to Zero
RHO Randomize and Hold all Output
RIC Rotate Illogical thru Carry
RID Read Invalid Data
RIG Read Inter-record Gap
RIOP Rotate I/O Ports
RIR Read Invalid Record
RIRG Read Inter-Record Gap
RJE Return Jump and Explode
RLC Relocate and Lose Core
RLC Reread Last Card
RLC Rotate Left with Carolyn
RLI Rotate Left Indefinitely
RLP Refill Light Pen
RLP Rewind Line Printer
RM Ruin My files
RMI Randomize Memory Immediate
RMM Read Manager's Mind
RMT ReMove Trap
RMV Remove Memory Virtues
RN Read Noise
RNBS Reflect Next Bus Signal
RNR Read Noise Record
ROC Randomize Op Codes
ROC Rotate Outward from Center
ROD ROtate Diagonally
ROM Read Operator's Mind
ROO Rub Out Operator
ROOP Run Out Of Paper
ROPF Read Other People's Files
ROS Reject Operating System
ROS Return On Shield
RP Read Printer
RPB Raise Parity Bits
RPB Read Print and Blush
RPB Reverse Parity and Branch
RPBR Reverse Parity and BRanch
RPC Rotate Program Counter
RPM Read Programmer's Mind
RPU Read character and Print Upsidedown
RRC Rotate Random thru Carry
RRR Randomly Rotate Register
RRR Read Record and Run away
RRR Read Record and Run-away
RRRL Random Rotate Register Left
RRRR Random Rotate Register Right
RRSTC Return on Ruby Slippers Triple-Click
RRT Record and Rip Tape
RS Random Slew
RSD on Read error Self-Destruct
RST Rewind and Stretch Tape
RSTOM Read from STore-Only Memory
RT Reduce Throughput
RTP Reduce ThroughPut
RTS Return To Sender
RVAC Return from VACation
RWC ReWind and Crash heads
RWCR ReWind Card Reader
RWD ReWind Disk
RWE Run Without Error
RWF Read Wrong File
RWT Read/Write while stretching Tape
SA Store Anywhere
SAD Search And Destroy
SAI Skip All Instructions
SAK Snooze At Keyboard
SAS Show Appendix Scar
SAS Sit And Spin
SBE Swap Bits Erratically
SBF Skip on Bitbucket Full
SC Scramble Channels
SC Shred Cards
SCB Spindle Card and Belch
SCCA Short Circuit on Correct Answer
SCD Shuffle and Cut Dec
SCH Slit Cards Horizontal
SCI Shred Cards Immediate
SCM Set for Crash Mode
SCOM Set Cobol-Only Mode
SCP SCatter Printer
SCRRC SCRamble Register Contents
SCST Switch Channel to Star Trek
SCTR Stick Card To Reader
SD Scramble Directory
SD Slip Disk
SDC Spool Disk to Console
SDD Seek and Destroy Data
SDD Spin Disk Dry
SDDB Snap Disk Drive Belt
SDE Solve Differential Equations
SDI Self Destruct Immediate
SDM Search and Destroy Memory
SDR Slam Down Rondo [worst soda ever made]
SEB Stop Eating and Burp
SEOB Set Every Other Bit
SESUR Sing Elvis Songs Until he Returns
SEX Set EXecution register
SEX Sign EXtend
SFH Set Flags to Half-mast
SFP Send For Pizza
SFR Send For Reinforcements
SFT Stall For Time
SFTT Strip Form Tractor Teeth
SHAB SHift A Bit
SHABM SHift A Bit More
SHB Stop and Hang Bus
SHCD SHuffle Card Deck
SHON Simulate HONeywell CPU [permanent no-op]
SHR SHift Random
SHRC SHRed Card
SHRT SHRed Tape
SID Switch to Infinite Density
SIP Store Indefinite Precision
SJV Scramble Jump Vectors
SLP Sharpen Light Pen
SMC Scramble Memory Contents
SMD Spontaneous Memory Dump
SMR Skip on Meaningless Result
SMS Shred Mylar Surface
SNARF System Normalize And Reset Flags
SNM Show No Mercy
SNO Send Nukes on Overflow
SOAWP SOlve All the World's Problems
SOB Stew On Brew
SOD Surrender Or Die
SOL Shift On Low
SOP Stop and Order Pizza
SOS Sign Off, Stupid
SOT Sit On a Tack
SP Scatter Print
SPA Sliding Point Arithmetic
SPB Simulate Peanut Butter
SPD SPin Disk
SPS Set Panel Switches
SPSW Scramble Program Status Word
SQPWYC Sit Quietly and Play With Your Crayons
SRBO Set Random Bits to Ones
SRBZ Set Random Bits to Zeroes
SRC Select Random Channel
SRC Select Reader and Chew cards
SRCC Select Reader and Chew Cards
SRD Switch to Random Density
SRDR Shift Right Double Ridiculous
SRO Sort with Random Ordering
SROS Store in Read-Only Storage
SRR Shift Registers Random
SRSD Seek Record and Scar Disk
SRSD Seek Record and Scratch Disk
SRTC Stop Real-Time Clock
SRU Signoff Random User
SRZ Subtract and Reset to Zero
SSB Scramble Status Byte
SSD Scratch System Disk
SSD Stacker Select Disk
SSD Stop and Scratch Disk [3815]
SSJ Select Stacker and Jam
SSJP Select Stacker and JumP
SSM Solve by Supernatural Means
SSM Stacker Select Memory
SSP Seek SPindle
SSP Smoke and SPark
SST Seek and Stretch Tape
SSW Scramble Status Word
ST Set and Test
STA STore Anywhere
STC Slow To a Crawl
STD Stop, Take Drugs
STM STretch Magtape
STM Skip on Third Monday
STO Strangle Tape Operator
STPR SToP Rain
STRIKE STRIKE for more pay, better hours, etc.
STROM STore in Read-Only Memory
STTHB Set Terminal to Three Hundred Baud
SUIQ Subtract User's IQ
SUME SUprise ME
SUP Shred User Printout
SUP Solve Unsolvable Problem
SUS Stop Until Spring
SUS Subtract Until Senseless
SWAT SWAp Terminals
SWN SWap Nibbles
SWOS Store in Write-Only Storage
SWS Sort to Wrong Slots
SWT Select Wrong Terminal
SWU Select Wrong Unit
SWZN Skip Whether Zero or Not
SZD Switch to Zero Density
TAH Take A Hike
TAI Trap Absurd Inputs
TARC Take Arithmetic Review Course
TBFTG Two Burgers and Fries To Go
TC Transmit Colors
TDB Transfer and Drop Bits
TDRB Test and Destroy Random Bits
TDS Trash Data Segment
TET Triple Execution Time [SUN]
TLNF Teach me a Lesson i'll Never Forget
TLO Turn indicator Lights Off
TLW Transfer and Lose Way
TN Take a Nap
TOAC Turn Off Air Conditioner
TOG Take Out Garbage
TOG Time Out, Graduate
TOH Take Operator Hostage
TOO Turn On/off Operator
TOP Trap OPerator
TOS Trash Operating System
TOW Take Over World
TPD Terminal Printer Destruct
TPD Total Program Diagnostic
TPD Triple Pack Decimal
TPDH Tell Programmer to Do it Himself
TPF Turn Power oFf
TPN Turn Power oN
TPO Turn Power Off
TPR Tear PapeR
TR Turn into Rubbish
TRA Te Rdls Arvs [type ridiculous abbreviations]
TRD TRansfer and Drop bit
TSH Trap Secretary and Halt
TSM Trap Secretary and Mount
TST Trash System Tracks
TT%CN TeleType \(em Clunk Noise
TT%EKB TeleType \(em Electrify KeyBoard
TTA Try, Try Again
TTIHLIC Try To Imagine How Little I Care
TTITT Turn 2400 foot Tape Into Two 1200 foot Tapes
TTL Tap Trunk Line
TTL Time To Logoff
TYF Trust Your Feelings
UA Unload Accumulator
UAI Use Alternate Instruction set
UAPA(AM) Use All Power Available (And More)
UCB Uncouple CPU and Branch
UCIP Update Card In Place
UCK Unlock Console Keyswitch
UCLB Uncouple Comm Lines and Branch
UCM Uncouple CoMm lines and branch
UCPUB Uncouple CPUs and Branch
UDR Update and Delete Record
UER Update and Erase Record
UFO Unidentified Flag Operation
ULDA UnLoaD Accumulator
UMR Unlock Machine Room
UNPD UNPlug and Dump
UOP Useless OPeration
UP Understand Program[mer]
UPA Use all Power Available
UPC Understand Program[mer]'s Comments
UPI Undo Previous Instruction
URB Update, Resume and Branch
UTF Unwind Tape onto Floor
UTF Use The Force
UUBR Use Undefined Base Register
VAX Violate All eXecutions
VFE Violate Field Engineer
VFO Violate Female Operator
VMA Violate Maintenance Agreement
VNO Violate Noise Ordinance
VPA Vanishing Point Arithmetic
VVM Vaporize Virtual Memory
WAD Walk Away in Disgust
WAT WAste Time
WBB Write to the Bit Bucket
WBT Water Binary Tree
WC Waste Core
WCR Write to Card Reader
WDR Warp disk DRive
WED Write and Erase Data
WEMG Write Eighteen Minute Gap
WF Wait Forever
WGPB Write Garbage in Process-control Block
WHFO Wait until Hell Freezes Over
WHP Wave Hands over Program
WI Why Immediate
WI Write Illegibly
WID Write Invalid Data
WMC Write Millions of Comments
WNAM We Need A Miracle
WNHR Write New Hit Record
WNR Write Noise Record
WP Write Poop
WPET Write Past End of Tape
WPM Write Programmer's Mind
WSE Write Stack Everywhere
WSWW Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways
WUPO Wad Up Printer Output
WWLR Write Wrong Length Record
WWR Write Wrong Record
XPI Execute Programmer Immediate(ly)
XXIO eXecute Invalid Opcode
XXKF eXecute Kermit the Frog
XXM eXclusive Maybe
XXMB eXclusive MayBe
XXOH eXecute no-Op and Hang
XXOR eXecute OpeRator
XXOS eXchange Operator's Sex
XXPR eXecute PRogrammer
XXPSW eXecute Program Status Word
XXSP eXecute Systems Programmer
XXVF eXchange Virtue for Fun
YAB Yet Another Bug
YASE Yet Another Stupid Error
ZAP Zero and Add Packed
ZAR Zero Any Register
ZD Zap Directory
ZEOW Zero Every Other Word
ZPI ZaP Immediate
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