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Jokes Blog - thebroadroom.net: October 2006
Science jokes #2
posted by Colleen Shirazi,
Saturday, October 21, 2006
at 10:01 AM (Pacific)
A mathematician, an engineer, and a physicist are being interviewed for a job. In each case, the interview goes along famously until the last question is asked: "How much is one plus one?"
Each of them suspects a trap, and is hesitant to answer.
The mathematician thinks for a moment, and says "I'm not sure, but I think it converges."
The physicist says "I'm not sure, but I think it's on the order of one."
The engineer gets up, closes the door to the office, and says "How much do you want it to be?"
...
A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment. The mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and a beautiful naked woman is placed on a bed at the other end of the room.
The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every five minutes, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the woman on the bed."
The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the bed!" And he gets up and storms out.
The psychologist makes a note on his clipboard and ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and he starts drooling. The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don't you realize that you'll never reach her?" he asks.
The physicist smiles and replies, "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes!"
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A mathematician, a physicist and a doctor were posed the questin 2*2.
The physicist takes a notebook and starts scribbling. After 3 days of the most complex calculations he finds, with use of the Earth's radius and the gravitational constant: "Somewhere between pi and 2 times the square root of 3."
The mathematican comes back after a week with dark rings under his eyes and proclaims: "Colleagues, there is no solution."
The doctor says simply: "4."
The others: "Oh well you memorized it."
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In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go.
The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.
They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem...."
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A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat."
The architect did not agree. He said, "But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that, the Garden and the world were created. So God must have been an architect."
The computer scientist, who had listened to all of this said, "Yeah, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
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A mathematician and a physicist are trying to measure the height of a flag pole using a long tape measure. The mathematician takes the tape measure, walks up to the flag pole, and begins to shinny up the pole. A short way up, he slips and falls down.
The physicist notices a ladder lying nearby in the bushes. He leans the ladder against the pole, but it reaches only half way up. He climbs the ladder and tries to shinny up from there, but he also slips and falls.
While they sit near the pole scratching their heads, an engineer walks by, so the mathematician and the physicist tell him their problem. The engineer notices a crank at the base of the flag pole. He turns the crank, and the flag pole tilts over until it lies on the ground. The engineer stretches out the tape measure, cranks the pole back up, and tells the mathematician and the physicist: "It is 15 meters."
As the engineer walks off into the distance, the mathematician looks at the physicist and says: "Isn't that just like an engineer? You ask him for the height, and he gives you the length."
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