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Jokes Blog - thebroadroom.net: Science Jokes
Science Jokes
posted by Colleen Shirazi,
Friday, June 03, 2005
at 12:04 PM (Pacific)
A computer science student, an engineering student and a meteorology student are going through the desert in a jeep. Suddenly the jeep stops and they're left sitting there wondering what happened.
The engineering student pipes up, "Must be the fan belt that's broken... the engine has overheated... so we'll just have to wait till it cools down, bodge the fan belt and we'll be fine."
The meteorology student replies, "Naw, it's not that...it's just the ambient heat in this place. It's not allowing the engine to breath correctly...we just have to wait till night time..."
The comp sci student thinks about this for a minute then says, "Yeah, you might be right, but I've got an idea....What say we all get out... then get back in again?"
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A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa. They drive out into the savannah in their jeep, stop and scour the horizon with their binoculars.
The biologist: "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle: a white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebras! We'll be famous!"
The statistician: "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra."
The mathematician: "Actually, we know there exists a zebra which is white on one side."
The computer scientist: "Oh no! A special case!"
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A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.
First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."
The Biologist's conclusion: "They have reproduced."
The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again."
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What is "pi"?
Mathematician: Pi is the number expressing the relationship between the circumference of a circle and its diameter.
Physicist: Pi is 3.1415927 plus or minus 0.000000005.
Engineer: Pi is about 3.
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Q. Why does the programmer go to sleep with 2 glasses on his bedside table?
A. One is full of water, in case he wants a drink at night.
One is empty, in case he doesn't.
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A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were all umpiring a softball game. The batter hit a fly ball to the outfield that was not caught. All the runners who were on base scored easily and the batter tried to turn it into an inside the park home run. It became clear that there would be a close play at the plate and all three umpires rushed into position to make the call. They all called the batter out. The captain of the batting team went out to argue and demanded, "Why is he out?"
The engineer said, "He looked out to me, so he's out."
The physicist said, "I watched very carefully, and I saw that, at the moment that the batter was tagged, he had not touched home plate; so he's out."
The mathematician said, "He's out because I called him out."
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Four stages of acceptance:
i) this is worthless nonsense;
ii) this is an interesting, but perverse, point of view;
iii) this is true, but quite unimportant;
iv) I always said so.
-- J.B.S. Haldane, Journal of Genetics #58, 1963, p.464
 
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